2020 Liv & B

2020

2020

By Grace Lanier

I got glasses for the first time today. Or rather, Glasses gotme. Unfortunately, the year 2020 brought the end of my 20/20 vision and now my eyes need a little boost to do their best.  Super ironic, with the year being 2020, and this is the year my 20/20 vision chooses to abandon me. I can’t help but wonder what my younger self would have felt about glasses. Would I have been ashamed to not see properly?  Would I have panicked about the cost?  I am certain there was a time where I would have found glasses to be nerdy (thankfully I have left junior high in my rear-view mirror). Not so long ago I would have claimed they make me look older.  Now, how exactly does my current self feel about this news?  Am I stressing over picking “THE PERFECT” pair?  Possibly.

Possibly???  

Probably. Definitely.  

Yes, and what was the subject of Bible Study this week (as in 2 short days ago)?  Perfection?  Perfection, and women’s desire/duty, to achieve it (self, husband or mother) imposed. Aren’t I supposed to show my eyes (read me) some grace? Am I not worthy of the medical need of glasses?  And why does this news feel so icky and the absolute wrong way to start the new year much less decade?  

Fortunately, I get myself together and see these glasses as a new pair of shoes; they need to function and look good. Period. Suddenly, I feel the need to give my eyes a quick pep talk, Hey there, Eyes. Let these glasses put a little twinkle in your day. The first few pairs, I don’t even really “see” on my face. I am absorbed in seeing myself with glasses and consumed with my own vanity. I watch as all the people, women predominantly, peruse the various choices of glasses on the never-ending wall. Then I meet Dyonna, the optician assigned to me.  She wears a cranberry crepe dress that flatters her figure, and her glasses and jewelry complete the package.  Turns out she got into this business because as a child, her family couldn’t afford proper glasses for her.  She turned her struggle into a career, and I feel this as she is helping me.  She suggests and comments, all totally honest per her words.  Silent cheer spreads across my face in the form of a smile, because glasses matter! I matter! Suddenly, I amexcited. Together, Dyonna and I are going to find a pair that matches my skin color and face shape and personality and all the little pieces that make me, me. And these glasses are going to make me look gooood. Suddenly my diagnosis isn’t so bad, and it will not only enhance my vision, but me.  After all, I am not marrying the glasses, simply wearing them as an accessory.  

Decision made. I choose smaller frames in a light brown color with hot pink on the inside which “reflects a little blush” on your cheeks. Well, my Momma always says everyone needs a little pink on their cheeks and I need a little blonde in my hair, so I instantly know she would approve (and she was right on both accounts). My husband is so proud of me for going to the doctor (not loving all things medical if I am honest) and accepting the news, and actually choosing glasses. I honestly think the glasses could be purple leopard, and he would love them.

And now, I wait. Something wonderful is happening. I can’t wait for them to come inthe glasses...my glasses...which I am to only wear when looking at the computer. I hope my glasses will help me use this year, 2020, to see myself clearly.  Now I want to share my gift with all, to give you a new set of eyes and clear vision. Eyes that see your wonderful attributes – those you show and those you hide.I want you to join me and take the time to listen to your soul and your body. See what you have never slowed down long enough to see. The other day amidst work and life I just stopped. I walked out onto my front porch. I looked at the trees and the leaves and listened to the sound of my neighbor’s flag flapping. I smelled our fire, one of my favorite smells ever. And I was thankful eventhoughtful. I wondered why don’t I do this more often?  Why do I have to be ready to explode before I stop?  Why don’t I see what is going on inside of me?  Or do I see it, and not allocate the time to address it?

Today I will begin to “see” with new eyes and glasses.  I got glasses and glasses “get” me! Won’t you join me and take a fresh look at yourself and “see” you?  I got glasses and glasses “get” me!